"There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life." 

                                         -John Lennon

For the First Time

           I had given up on love. In my eyes it didn't exist. All those happy couples on the streets and all the amazing love stories on the movie screens were factitious. No one could possibly feel that way.  Then one Tuesday afternoon I was sitting on his bed watching a movie with him. We had known each other for three years, and he was one of my closest friends. We wrestled and cuddled and never thought anything more of it. I had never felt so comfortable being myself around someone so quickly. He's seen me at my best and at my worst. Our friendship was rare and real. I had finally returned home after being away for a whole year, so we decided to dedicate a day to us. We went to the beach, ate lunch and then back to his house. As we sat there watching Elf, our favorite movie, he put his hand in mine. Though the gesture wasn't new, the feeling was. I looked at him and he smiled.
          Over the next few months the previous beliefs I held about love and relationships changed.  Everything related to love now made sense to me. Movies, songs, book, all of it. The happiness I felt with him was indescribable.  The fall out was a surprise and the details of my heartbreak aren't important but what I learned from it is.  My first real love didn't work out but it was real. There is a reason why the songs are so popular and why the movies sell out. It isn't a made up feeling, it's real. Obviously he wasn't my forever but some guy out there is. I don't wake up everyday searching for him because I don't think that's the way love works. But I do believe.  I've experienced the glory and the pain and I hope the same for the others out there who label themselves as nonbelievers.  

Let's give this a shot

So I've got a tumblr and it's been a great way to express my thoughts and even put to words feelings I previously thought indescribable, but it's really more of a social networking sight. I'm starting this blog just because I mainly want to practice my writing skills. Putting pen to paper is a lot more sentimental to me but at the same time I often make mistakes so typing is a lot less messy. I hope I get some site views but if this is just submitted into cyberspace without anyone ever viewing it then its a loss for the rest of the world. Anywho, hope you enjoy! =)